Posted: March 23rd, 2015

Using Kolb's experiential learning cycle as a structure and the insights gained from reading the article "Am I talking to Me?" (CMD) to reflect upon a specific stressful experience that did not go well (from either the workplace or university)

Using Kolb’s experiential learning cycle as a structure and the insights gained from reading the article “Am I talking to Me?” (CMD) to reflect upon a specific stressful experience that did not go well (from either the workplace or university)

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Topic : Using Kolb’s experiential learning cycle as a structure and the insights gained from reading the article “Am I talking to Me?” (CMD) to reflect upon a specific stressful experience that did not go well (from either the workplace or university) and examine your thoughts, beliefs and assumptions that influenced your response to stress
Diary entry words : 600
Goal, Action plan and strength : 225

Learning
Concrete Experience
When approaching a design task in first semester of last year the idea I presented was not received very well. The brief was ambiguous and required a very lateral thinking approach, I had not completely grasped what was expected of me for the assignment. I was unable to successfully change my design proposal and I became frustrated with the assignment, producing a subpar final product, resulting in a fail grade. I then approached the later assignments with disdain and a lack of motivation.
My learning style as a ‘converger’ means that I prefer logical thinking and rational evaluation (Kolb & Kolb 2009). I was stuck in my single, unsuccessful interpretation of the brief and was unable to successfully branch out laterally and explore other options.
Reflective Observation
I began to see the ambiguity of the brief as an incompetence of the lecturer. This stemmed from my low position on Perry’s scheme of cognitive and ethical development (Perry 1988), having an assumption that the teacher should give me the answer. Skinner’s findings suggest I have been conditioned to believe that the “teacher knows the right answer and should give it to me” over my years of schooling (Chomsky 1980).
The ambiguous brief was meant to allow me to use the skills I had developed over 2 years and be creative. To continue on with my closed minded approach would limit me greatly as a designer. I didn’t believe in my ability and used negative self talk telling myself that “I couldn’t do it and I was a failure”; “I need direction to get it right”. As identified by Perry (1988) I believed that the role of the teacher was to give me the answers (the truth); my responsibility was to absorb and study; the teacher asks for the information back; and my job was to present information back for the teachers adjudication.
I wanted there to be one right answer and when I didn’t have it I became frustrated with myself and gave up because of my belief that if “I can’t be successful at something I should give up”. This is a belief I hold to protect myself from failing at something I try at. This stems from a need to impress everyone and feel well liked. As an only child and being bullied at primary school I always felt I had to work harder to prove my worth as a friend. Essentially my self- talk was based on the assumption that unless I am a exemplary  student and work hard the “I’m not worth anything” and “I need to earn friendships”.
As an only child I always strived to gain my parents attention and approval through doing a good job at everything. I hold the assumption that people will think less of me if I fail. Even this small failure on a 20% assignment affected me greatly because I had all my self-worth wrapped up in my academic success. It is a destructive assumption to hold, causing me to lose faith in my abilities, it also reflects badly on who I think my friends are, not believing that they would like me for who I am.
Active Experimentation
Upon reflection I am now aware that negative self talk occurs unconsciously due to the beliefs I encompass and the unreasonable expectations I place upon myself. The defensive reasoning process I developed when facing the problem in my example was avoiding the appearance of incompetence, vulnerability and embarrassment, which mitigated and possible opportunities for learning from that mistake (Argyris, 1992).I need to have more confidence in my own ability, I can’t lose faith in myself so easily. In the workplace I will be continually faced with ambiguous challenges.
To change my behaviours I firstly need to change to my self talk (Johnson, 2011) to be realistic and optimistic, cause less stress and allow me to look for multiple solutions rather than be stuck thinking “there is only one right way”; “the lecturer or manager has to tell me the answer”. This sort of negative and limiting thinking will also restrict my role as a leader in the workplace. I need to  look for a range of answers/possibilities and ensure that  my team members also are not limited in thinking  there is only one “right answer” which will not encourage diversity of input. Specifically I will follow the steps identified by Dewar (2014) to challenge my negative self talk and replace with positive realistic internal dialogue:
My overall goal
“To identify and challenge limiting negative self talk in ambiguous situations on a daily basis”.

SUB GOALS    OLD BEHAVIOUR     NEW BEHAVIOUR     SUPPORTING MEASURABLE BEHAVIOUR     REWARD
To undertake reality testing of my negative self talk    All or nothing thinking:
“If I don’t “If I don’t succeed in this task, I’m a total failure.”    Use positive statements:
“Even though it’s tough, I can handle this situation.”
“Is how I am feeling consistent with facts and logic?”     Keep a journal to identify situations when negative self talk occurs and my interpretation of what the situation means; write down specific negative self talk and challenge negative and inaccurate thinking (Dewar 2014).    HERE YOU NEED TO IDENTIFY SOMETHING SMALL AND PERSONALLY REWARDING
To be kinder to myself on a daily basis    I’m not worth anything” and “I need to earn friendships”.    “I am a worthwhile person” “My friends like me for who I am”
To relabel limiting self talk    “There is only one right answer”
“Others must give me the right answer”

My Strengths:
•    Results from Tolerance of Ambiguity Scale:
o    Characterised by precision, reliability, efficiency; seen as methodical, prudent, disciplined
o    Concerned with resolving problems rather than finding them
o    Seeks solutions to problems in tried and understood ways
o    Reduces problems by improvement and greater efficiency, with maximum of continuity and stability
•    Results from Locus of Control Scale:
o    Actively tries to improve a situation
o    Observes factors to create positive outcomes in the future

Student Name:     ……………                                                                Student Number:………………

CRITERION    7 (HD)    6 (D)    5 (C)    4(P)     3 2 & 1 (F)

Reflective Observation and Abstract Conceptualisation

Mark out of 5
Critical analysis of self and own behaviour. Insightful recognition of the role of assumptions in shaping events. Examination & appraisal of a range of perspectives. Use of theory and research were applied to provide insight into why the behaviour occurred.
Analysis of self and own behaviour. Recognition of the role assumptions. A novel and revealing explanation of links with competency identified for development. Some links  made to theory or literature    Evidence of self-questioning. Identified assumptions and understanding of behaviour. Evidence of standing back and questioning the event. Basic links to theory used.    Some ability to identify and reflect on own behaviour, thoughts, emotions, and assumptions to explain how some of these relate to their experience.  There is a shallow evaluation of the experience. No integration of literature.
Behaviour was described but lacked any insight and analysis. No self-questioning. Assumptions not explored. No standing back from the event.
Writing appears clichéd, biased or judgemental.
No external sources considered.

Active Experimentation and action plan

Mark out of 5    New behaviours  were clearly derived from an analysis of experience and research evidence. Comprehensive action plan which included creative solutions to the area of development.     New behaviours  were clearly derived from the experience supported with research evidence. Action plan was clearly appropriate for the situation.     New behaviours were derived from analysis of experience with some research. Action plan addressed key issues.     New behaviours were related to the experience, but with basic support. Demonstrated understanding of change goals however small problems with execution of action plan.    Some recommendations evident, although not  supported with theory.  Recommendations were not clearly justified and/or appropriate. No understanding of action plan content or process.

Presentation & Academic Skills

Mark out of 5    Fluent, coherent and concise writing style.
Well-judged and well-integrated selection of range of sources to support content; all sources appropriately acknowledged; referencing consistently accurate.
Professional expression and style used . No grammatical or spelling errors.
Well-structured, may have minor problems with flow.
Good number and range of sources, mostly critically integrated; all sources appropriately acknowledged; high level of accuracy in referencing.

Very high standard of grammar, syntax and spelling.    Shows organisation and coherence.
Adequate number of sources with attempt to give a range and critically integrate; all sources acknowledged; only minor inaccuracies in referencing.

High standard of grammar, syntax and spelling.    Shows some attempt to organise paper.
Adequate number of sources though range may be restricted, and sources not always well integrated; little/no failure to acknowledge sources; some inaccuracies  in referencing

Average standard of grammar, syntax and spelling.    Lacks coherence and organisation.
Sources used are insufficient, inappropriate, or uncritically used; lack of acknowledgement of sources; referencing inaccurate.

Below standard of grammar, syntax and spelling.

Lecturer/Tutor:………………………………………                            Result:…………………………………

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